Whaad he say...

A Quickie in the Bushes

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude 
man and one of a nude woman.   They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture,  brings the two to life.
  
The angel tells them, "As a reward for being 
so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most." 
  
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go 
running behind the shrubbery. 
  
The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle 
and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. 
  
The angel tells them, "Um, you have fifteen 
minutes left, would you care to do it again?" 
  
He asks her "Shall we?" 
  
She eagerly replies, "Oh, yes, let's!

 

But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the  pigeon down and you shit on its head." 
  
------AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???? 

Idle Thoughts of a Retiree's Wandering Mind

        I planted some bird seed.  A bird came up.  Now I don't know  what to feed it.
      ~~~
      I had amnesia once -- or twice.
      ~~~
      I went to San Francisco.  I found someone's heart. Now what?
      ~~~
      Protons have mass?  I didn't even know they were Catholic.
      ~~~
      All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
      ~~~
      If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride side saddle.
      ~~~
      What is a "free" gift?  Aren't all gifts free?
      ~~~
      Someone told me I was gullible and I believed them.
      ~~~
      Teach a child to be polite and courteous and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
      ~~~
      Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
      ~~~
      One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other  people.
      ~~~
      My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
      ~~~
      I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not sure.
      ~~~
      The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
      ~~~
      How can there be self-help "groups"?
      ~~~
      If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
      ~~~
      Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
      ~~~
      Is it just me--or do buffalo wings really taste like chicken?

 

DANCE A WAY THE NIGHT

Bush Farts

'Warcraft' Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing 'Warcraft'

'Warcraft' Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing 'Warcraft'

Friendship

Friendship between Women:

A woman didn't come home one night The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

 

Friendship between Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends, eight of which confirmed that he had slept over, and two said that he was still there.