FW: What Do Retired People Do All Day?

                    What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

 We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So my wife called him a shit head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

Keep on smilin' !

 

 

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RETIREMENT PLANNING FOR 2008

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago,

it would now be worth $49.00. 
        
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00.         
        
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left. 
        
If you had purchased $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock

you would have $49.00 left. 
         
But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago,

drank all the beer,

then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund, 

you would have had $214.00. 
        
Based on the above, the best current investment advice

 is to drink heavily and recycle. 
        
It's called the 401-Keg

 

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Suicidal Muslims...

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide...Let's see now...
No Jesus
No Christmas
No television
No cheerleaders



No Nude Women
No car races
No football
No soccer
No golf
No tailgate parties
No K-Mart
No pork BBQ
No hot dogs
No burgers
No chocolate chip cookies
No lobster
No shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks
No nachos
No Beer nuts
No Beer!!!!!!!!
Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
Constant pain because they get sick and there are no doctors.
Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
More than one wife.
You can't shave.
Your wives can't shave.
You can't shower to wash off the smell of camel dung.
The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times.
Your bride is picked by someone else.
She smells just like your donkey.
But your donkey has a better disposition.

Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!

I mean, really, is there a mystery here?