Don't lose sight of what is important this time of year...Merry Christmas... 

Original artwork Holiday Greeting cards, post cards, Postage Pal and Stamps

Would you believe???

better guard your butter balls...

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this
true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables
be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best
feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets.

And remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a
Ride"

 

I can teach you to hate this finger...

 

When it comes to the difficult things in life I usually defer to my Brother as he is so much smarter than myself. He has always blazed the trail that I would later follow...
He went to Europe...I had to go to Europe...he had nice cameras, I had women buy me nice cameras...he had things, I wanted his things...now I must try and better him at blogging even though I know that his Kung-fu is best...see my feeble attemps at my site by clicking here...
Some day I will overcome my desire to punish my brother for my shortcomings but until that day I will just have to continue to teach him that no good deed goes unpunished...

dissed...disabused...dennigrated...
after driving for days and traveling 4,000 miles (not to mention this being my 3rd trip to Canada in the last several years)..the Canadian boarder patrol denied me entry into Canada and infact threatened to arrest me and prosecute me for something that happened 16 yrs ago (saying I would be subject to 10 yrs in jail there). On top of this they fined me 200 bucks for possessing a stun gun. Well needless to say after I got back to the American side...I immediately canceled the 200 debit to my card and am now hiding up here in Yellowstone with my native American brothers..trying to out run the pony soldiers...this wasparticularly disturbing...after the powers that be had tried to shanhai me" in Iowa..put boards on my feet and go in circles in the corn fields...making crop circles...I had to try and get word to my buddy in Ore..that I now knew the differece between schucking the corn...and chucking the corn. It doesn't matter any more any how...because all the corn is being turned into ethanol. Gas was only 2.87 a gallon..talk about a reprieve...

Trying to manage my 15 minutes...the gild is off the lily...the bloom is off the
flower (rose)...The lobster fairie ...is going to plane "air plane" with me...to try and
get me to eat "my lobster"...I will of course have my
lobster bib on..and be sitting in my "high chair"....yeeeeehaaaaaaaa. we make..the rules up here...if I say it's 10 bucks to put
their crap on ebay...then it's 10 bucks. We are the
only game in town.getting ready...to scofflaw on (or is that from)...the road...I am off
to Nova Scotia...to sing and dance with the lobster fairie...warming up the car......and like "route 66" hitting the open road...me and
Jack Kerouwac...I should be pulling an air stream
along behind me...but who needs the extra
baggage...(like my emotional baggage...)...

like father

like son

I've spent my whole life punishing others for my short comings and inadequacies...
gloating and reveling in other's misfortunes and setbacks all the while courting sympathy for my own maladies and discomfitures...my brother was a convient target as he was worthy of my chagrin due to his obvious natural intellectual and creative superiority to myself...
help me make amends
to the Jimbozone
or help me shill for him and click on the graphic below...


Mission Fruit and Snack Basket
Only $29.99

I wasn't always a narrow minded, selfish ingrate...not before my brother was born and I saw that I would have to share...it is said that you can't ask the sun for more light or make rain less wet or expect a geezer to appreciate anyone else...only belittle and denegrate for his own amusment, as a scorpio it is merely his nature...