A man with a pegleg, hook hand and...

A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch went to apply to be a pirate.

Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?

Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.

Interviewer: How did you get that hook?

Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.

Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?

Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.

Interviewer: And that put your eye out?

Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.

best friend

Who's your best friend?

 

Without a doubt, it's your dog, not your wife

 

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment…

 

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.

 

When you open the trunk, which one is really happy to see you

 

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