Fw: Fwd: Vasectomy

 

 

When Should a Redneck Get a Vasectomy?

Happy hollloween

I knew there was a reason Jesse James would leave Sandra Bullock for Kat

Interactive Lower Back Tattoos from Kat Von D

A trip to Joshua Tree national park

Wonderlust - Infamous Hole in the Wall

serenade

someone is making fun of my brother

Murphys California

Show your Ladybug you care this Valentines Day

meet the new pbc's

clamper history

the legend of W.F.Holcomb

that was the decade that was...the second worst...

Republicans presided over the next worse dow decade ever...lets look to the next with hope and believe that worst is behind us...

now take a moment and visit the Jimbozone.com

How could they? Poop-munching apes prompt quest for answers

 

Nov. 10, 2009
Special to World Science  

Na­ture can be beau­ti­ful. El­e­gant. Grace­ful.

But not al­ways. Be­lieve it or not, an­i­mals don't do eve­ry­thing they do to im­press us. If you doubt it, look no fur­ther than the fact that some an­i­mals eat their own fe­ces. 

This phe­nom­e­non, called cop­roph­a­gy, oc­curs through­out the an­i­mal king­dom. It is par­tic­u­larly well-known among ro­dents, rab­bits and their rel­a­tives, and—less often—dogs and apes.

The par­ticipa­t­ion of this last group has caused caused par­tic­u­lar shock among hu­man wit­nesses, not least be­cause apes are sup­posed to be our close ev­o­lu­tion­ary rel­a­tives.

But two new stud­ies may of­fer a meas­ure of com­fort. At least, such as can be found in such a dis­mal situa­t­ion. 

The stud­ies sug­gest that chimps and bono­bos—the two spe­cies that are our clos­est ape rel­a­tives—eat po­o­p not for its own sa­ke, but in or­der to re­trieve hard, nu­tri­tious seeds from it.

Cop­roph­a­gy may be an "adap­tive feed­ing strat­e­gy dur­ing pe­ri­ods of food scarcity," wrote Tet­suya Saka­maki of the Pri­ma­te Re­search In­sti­tute at Kyo­to Un­ivers­ity, Ja­pan, in a study pub­lished in the Oct. 31 ad­vance on­line is­sue of the jour­nal Pri­ma­tes.

Saka­maki re­ported that he spent a total of no less than 1,142 hours (48 days) watch­ing a group of about two doz­en wild bono­bos at the Lu­o Sci­en­tif­ic Re­serve in the Con­go. Among them, "at least five fe­males… prac­ticed cop­roph­a­gy and/or fe­cal in­spec­tion," he wrote.

Samakaki found most of the episodes hard to see clear­ly, be­cause they oc­curred high in trees, but he came away with the im­pression that the apes were try­ing to get at seeds. In the most clearly vis­i­ble case, a young fe­male "used her lips to ex­tract Di­al­ium seeds from the fe­ces in her hand, ate the seeds, and dis­carded oth­er fi­brous parts in the fe­ces," he wrote.

Di­alum plants are mem­bers of the leg­ume fam­i­ly.

A study in the April 2004 is­sue of the jour­nal sug­gested si­m­i­lar con­clu­sions re­gard­ing chim­panzees, not­ing that similar seed types were in­volved: "two types of Di­al­ium seeds were com­monly found in the fe­ces."

The au­thors of this pre­vi­ous study added that stress, bore­dom or food scarcity did­n't ap­pear to play a role in the cop­roph­a­gy. Saka­maki in the more re­cent study mostly agreed, except he wrote that cop­roph­a­gy did seem more com­mon when food was hard to find.

now take a moment and visit the Jimbozone.com 

New Stimulis Plan

First, the basics:

What is an economic stimulus payment?
A.  It is money the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q.  Where will the government get this money?
A.  From taxpayers.
Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money?
A.  Only a smidgen.
Q.  What is the purpose of this payment?
A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV
set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q.  But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A.  Shut up.

Now, some helpful advice on how best to help the U.S. economy by spending
your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India. If you purchase fruit and
vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
If you pay off your credit cards off or buy stock, it will go to management
bonuses and be hidden offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:
1.  spending it at yard sales;
2.  going to ball games;
3.  spending it on prostitutes;
4.  buying beer; or
5.  getting tattoos.
These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.

Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute you met at a yard sale and
drink beer all day. 

 

now take a moment and visit the Jimbozone.com 

A TRIP TO Costco

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. now take a moment and visit the Jimbozone.com

You can make a difference...

Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women

Old Cowboy

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next  to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked,'Are you a real cowboy?'  He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working   cows, going to rodeos,  fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats,working on tractors, and  feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'            She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked  women.  As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When  I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women   It .seems everything makes  me think of naked women.'            The two sat sipping in silence.            A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'             He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a  lesbian.' now take a moment and visit the Jimbozone.com

Calendar for August

Teknology Confooses Me

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my three kids, their spouses, and 6 grandkids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space. That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl , Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world. My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag. The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Nobles talking to my wife, as every one in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and got a little loud. I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good. When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me. To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings. The world is just getting too complex for me.. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth re-usable bags to avoid looking confused but never remember to take them in with me. Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's THEIR turn to stare at me with a blank look!! now take a moment and visit the Jimbozone.com