A TRIP TO Costco

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. now take a moment and visit the Jimbozone.com

You can make a difference...

Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women

Old Cowboy

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next  to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked,'Are you a real cowboy?'  He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working   cows, going to rodeos,  fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats,working on tractors, and  feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'            She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked  women.  As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When  I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women   It .seems everything makes  me think of naked women.'            The two sat sipping in silence.            A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'             He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a  lesbian.' now take a moment and visit the Jimbozone.com