These are REAL 911 Calls!

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller:  No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller :  Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .

Dispatcher : Excuse me?

Caller :  I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?

Caller :  No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller:   I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Caller:    I thought you just said it was nine-one-one

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. Caller:    Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

 

My Personal Favorite!!!

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

Caller:    My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller:    No, you idiot! This is her husband!

 

And The Winner Is.....

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1

Caller:   Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? Caller:   I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.

Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Caller:   No

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?....

Caller:   Running from the Police.