Idle Thoughts of a Retiree's Wandering Mind

        I planted some bird seed.  A bird came up.  Now I don't know  what to feed it.
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      I had amnesia once -- or twice.
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      I went to San Francisco.  I found someone's heart. Now what?
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      Protons have mass?  I didn't even know they were Catholic.
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      All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
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      If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride side saddle.
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      What is a "free" gift?  Aren't all gifts free?
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      Someone told me I was gullible and I believed them.
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      Teach a child to be polite and courteous and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
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      Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
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      One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other  people.
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      My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
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      I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not sure.
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      The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
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      How can there be self-help "groups"?
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      If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
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      Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
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      Is it just me--or do buffalo wings really taste like chicken?